Grief GPS.
Navigate your grief with a resilient roadmap.
Hi friends,
Let's talk maps—they're everywhere in our lives. We use them not just for planned routes but also as strategic guides to reach particular goals, solve problems, or navigate challenging situations. They're essential for getting us from point A to point B. So, why do we toss the map out the window when we’re swamped in the turmoil of losing a loved one? Let's think about using a map for grief.
Why Do We Need a Roadmap for Our Grief?
A map is one of our most basic life tools. You've probably heard of the "stages" of grief by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross & David Kessler. Here's my take on it: I see them more as emotions of grief rather than stages we pass through. These emotions can ambush us at any time, often knocking us off our feet. Because grief is messy, non-linear, and full of twists and turns, we need a flexible and adaptive roadmap to navigate it. In this blog, we're going to explore what that roadmap could look like for you.
Enter Dr. Lucy Hone: The Resilient Navigator
Dr. Lucy Hone, author of "Resilient Grieving," is a game-changer in how we approach grief. She lost her daughter and realized, despite her background in resilient psychology, even she wasn't immune to grief's grip. From her experience and research, she gives us resilient practices to guide us. Let's dive into these as our roadmap's essential landmarks.
Landmark 1: Acknowledgment
Dr. Hone's first step is acknowledgment - not only recognizing your loss but also the potential for future well-being. It's about learning how to embrace the full spectrum of your emotions, while holding onto a future destination. No different than you'd find on a roadmap for a long journey.
Landmark 2: Taking Control Where Possible
Dr. Hone suggests focusing on the aspects of your life and emotions that are within your control. Focusing on what you can control, like a memorial or a sense of renewed purpose, can be empowering steps forward on your roadmap.
Landmark 3: Seek the Positive Amidst the Negative
Dr. Hone advises us to adopt a practice of 'benefit-finding,' even during the challenging times of grief. This isn't just a positive spin or putting on a happy face, but deliberately finding the beauty in the journey, even when the road is bumpy.
Landmark 4: Adaptive Flexibility
Life post-loss is an unpredictable journey, and Dr. Hone encourages us to be flexibly adaptive. Reroute your path when the one you're on isn't working, like recalculating your route on a GPS when you hit a roadblock. The key is to find a path—or multiple paths—that resonate with you. It's less about the 'right' way to grieve and more about the right way for you.
Don't Walk This Road Alone
If any of this resonates with you and you're keen on diving deeper, you're in luck! I send out exclusive content that gets into the nitty-gritty of topics like resilient grieving. All inspired by Lucy Hone and other experts in the field. So, go ahead and join my mailing list to get in on that action.
Until next time, remember: even in the complex, messy journey of grief, a resilient roadmap can guide you toward healing and a renewed sense of self.
With love & light, 🤍 Lauren
